just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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