so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
