My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
