can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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