new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
