The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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