if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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