yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
