Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
