Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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