Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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