Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
