yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
