im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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