Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So much rum. So many feels.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
