what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
