i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
