i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
