Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
