What a fucking waste of an outfit
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
