why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
