Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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