Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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