fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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