well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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