So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
