i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
