you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
