Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So many bounce houses so little time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Randomize