My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
