the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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