Well apparently he's into motor boating.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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