I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
