Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
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Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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