My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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