Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
