please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
