y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize