Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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