whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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