i think i have herpe
just one?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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