Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You've changed since you got that strap on
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