I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
