god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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