My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
