We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize