People in love make me want to vomit
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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