I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize