how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
