I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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