In the future we'll all be gay
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Fuck appropriateness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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