This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude i'm inner monologue high
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Found your dick twin last night
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize