Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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