Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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