Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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