Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
