I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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