wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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