Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
