I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
