Grow some girl-balls and come out already
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you had me at cake vodka
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
