Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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