lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
