I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
