Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
