We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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