Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
